12.13.2005
quicktime 7 sucks
In the past, I haven't had a problem with anything Apple does, but they've succeeded in really pissing me off. Which, in general, takes something pretty severe to raise my ire. The object of my wrath today: Quicktime, which went from innocuous media player app in v6 to complete piece of shit in version 7. Not since RealPlayer have I had an app take control of my browser in such an intrusive way. By default, it wants to play any media type it's capable of handling (including certain image files) within its browser plugin, which can't be disabled. I tried changing the options within quicktime such that things like mp3s wouldn't automatically launch within the plugin, but it still kept trying to play them. And then there's the requirement of installing itunes. I already have a perfectly capable audio player/library and I don't plan on using the iTMS, so why force the download down my throat? I'm imagining the following:
Apple headquarters. An MBA is being interviewed for a VP of digital media strategy position:
Interviewer: "Tell me a little about how you would help this department achieve its goals."
Applicant: "I'm glad you asked. I think the company is underutilizing a key strategic asset, which I can help you leverage to gain unprecedented mindshare in this market segment. You see, the Quicktime brand blah blah ROI monetize iTunes blah blah complementarity platform integration blah blah network effects blah..."
(The interviewer's head explodes. Another HR droid/hiring manager pokes her head into the office to see what happened.)
Applicant (in shock): "wha...what just..."
Hiring manager: "Oh. Well, he never had much tolerance for bullshit, and I guess you just pushed him over the edge. Frankly, I'm surpised his career in HR lasted as long as it did... Sorry about the mess."
Applicant (shudders): "But...he...what about my suit?"
Hiring manager: "Don't worry about it, you can expense it. I'll get you the form."
Applicant: "Does that mean..."
Hiring manager: "Yep. He would have hired you anyway. I think you're a perfect fit for he new corporate culture we're moving toward here at Apple."
Applicant: "What's that?"
Hiring manager: "Well, you might say we're trying to be the McDonalds of the computer world: spend a shit-ton of money on marketing and design, then shove as much of it as you can down the consumer's throat. Or if you're looking for the more...colorful version - "Be a Douchebag".
Applicant: "It's perfect! I am the biggest douchebag I know!"
Hiring manager: "Great. When can you start?"
Anyway... Apple will likely never see this, but that ipod nano I had recently considered buying is now a lost sale.
Disclaimer: This story may or may not be based on actual events. Incidents and characters have been created or modified for dramatic purposes. Certain douchebags may be composites, or entirely fictitious. Any similarity to any douchebag, living or dead, is merely coincidental.
- posted by vcmc @ 12/13/2005 07:13:00 PM
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Hi, bella. It's...unfortunate, really - I'm nowhere near as funny if I have to be spontaneous about it. Though - I do have my moments, from time to time...
You can get quicktime without itunes, and you can turn off it's tendrils of evil. Google one, and...well, the options worked for me, hm. Their new H.264 codec is very nice btw.
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